It's hard to know how to write about this transition because my emotions change every twenty minutes. Last fall, Paul was approached about a position in the NY office of Amazon. We prayed and prayed about the right thing to do for a long time. We loved Seattle.... everything about it reflected our "style" and our way of living. We had an amazing, visionary church, a completely walkable life, good friends, and the greatest outdoor opportunities imaginable.
All of the times we missed our friends and family in PA over the last few years, we would always come back to the fact that Paul wasn't ready to leave Amazon. So, when this option presented itself, it was a bridge between the sadness of missing our "people" and the opportunity to keep a great job.
Dozens of journal entries log my emotional highs and lows of trying to listen for God's voice in the middle of the questions.
Because the kids struggled so much moving West, our first duty was to let them decide. Maeve quickly agreed to move and delighted about seeing her family much more often. She started counting the days she could spend with her grandparents and delighted in more celebrations at "home." Noah immediately said "no." and so we left it at that.
As weeks went by, we didn't bring up the topic, but one day, while sitting in the back seat, Noah said flatly, "I'm ready to move back." Of course, we talked it all through and he agreed that he was on board. He was excited about the idea of having a yard and a house with more space and seeing all of the people he has been missing so much.
God's voice has been more clear to me in the past few months than almost any other time.
I sat on a rocky beach one afternoon, tears streaming down my face saying to God, "It's so great here.... I love it so much." and clear as day, God responded "It will be better there."
Weeks later, still making lists and weighing my options, I cried out, "I just can't decide." to which God quickly responded, "I have already made the decision."
And so, those two clear moments have carried me and focused my thoughts and actions over the past months of preparation.
Sitting at a concert one night, we heard a song talking all about "home" and we just looked at each other and smiled, excited to be returning home again.
