Round 4, in process

I took my last round 4 pills this week. I'm learning to change how I phrase things. I was about to say I finished round 4. The reality is that I take 400 mg. for 5 days and then I spend the rest of the month dealing with the side effects of the chemo. For some reason I seem to do okay during the actual pill time and then when I am finished the fatigue starts to grow and grow each day. This round I felt particularly nauseas which was new for me, but subsided when the pills were finished. Over the past few days I have felt very strong headaches and dizziness but it isn't consistent and it isn't all the time so I'm just giving it some time to see if it goes away. At my doctor's appointment last week he noted that my platelet count was low, but that was the first time. I'll have my blood checked again on day 21 of this cycle. Low platelets isn't a huge deal. It just means that my blood might not clot as quickly or that I will bruise easily. If my numbers drop too much they will consider suspending the next round of chemo. I meet with my doctors again on October 1st at 9 AM. That day I will have my bi-monthly MRI with blood work. Those are the days I covet the most prayers. I turn into some sort of anxious monster the week preceding those tests and I am filled with trepidation as I wait each time for the results. I know that God is with me through it all and God has been so faithful to me and calmed me so many times and reminded me that I shouldn't fear, but alas I'm human and it's difficult. Paul keeps walking around saying I only have two months left and I keep correcting him because we don't know yet what the course of action will be. I would love to be done in two months. The thought of having energy again, the ability to make it through a week fully awake, the desire to go outside and run and play with the kids... I started to get excited about the thought and the more I looked the more I found that outcomes are better with a 12 month course of Temodar. It will be interesting to see what the doctors say. I thought I found a good study last week comparing the different outcomes, but I can't find it anymore. The hard part is that my instincts are that they will tell me it is my choice. Because I have good genetic markers and I haven't had a terrible response and because they don't agree on the grade of my tumor, my guess is they will leave the decision up to me. This makes it much harder! I am going to ask for the studies and see the difference in prognosis myself. In the meantime, I'll rest.